Somehow, someday…

I grew up in a world wherein what I need was always laid down on the table. I never had to beg for food or wear ragged clothes. Every time I feel cold during the night, a cozy home is always there for me to stay in. Despite the niceties and the comfort I’ve always experienced, apathy was never a trait of mine. To see the hungry children begging in the sidewalk; to feel the sadness and hopelessness radiated by the poor; to hear the cries of those who felt pain emotionally and physically;to smell the injustice of society…it hurts. It hurts because here I am, sitting pretty while people are actually suffering out there and I CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE their state in life or even ease the pain they feel.

Who am I anyway to feel so troubled about this? Just an ordinary student, coping up with academic life and trying to just have fun. Sometimes, I wish I was extremely rich so that, somehow, I could help them. I’m so tired of looking out in the window of our car, seeing everything of these happening outside my circle. Sometimes, I’m so damn angry with people who are so busy accumulating wealth they don’t even CARE about those around them. But then again, I know that somewhere around there are people who really do go out of their way to help.

There are times that I ridiculously imagine myself a very rich and successful woman, influential even. Then, a large sum goes to charities and organizations who–like me–want to help make this world a better place by helping people. Of course, given that I’m successful in my own right, I’d use my connections to make sure that my plans would work faster. Given that I’m influential, and therefore famous, I would use this fame to gather more followers and to make people more aware of their role in uplifting our society and inspire other people who wanted to help but lack the courage and the means to do so just like me at the present.

Somehow, someday… I hope I could do this.

I want to do this not just for these people with whom the world has been utterly unfair to but for myself as well. Yes, for myself and maybe you’d say, “What the hell, it’s not your problem.” It might not be my problem but everyone has a responisiblity for everybody else. You don’t have to be a government official, NGO, or a religious leader/member in order to say that you have to help. Everyone simply has to because that is how things should work.

I often feel frustrated and disappointed because I want to help but I can’t. I feel lucky though because I was sent to a school that is active in helping other people, most especially the poor and the people with whom life has been unfair to. If not for my school’s outreach activities, I would have never been able to help in any way, big or small.

But I’m disappointed in a sense that yes, I was able to help BUT I wasn’t able to do something REALLY BIG. I want to help them in a life-changing sort of way. It isn’t enough for me to be able to teach the uneducated through Catechism or to be able to give them things and happiness through reach-outs and donations. I want to do something bigger maybe like, making a good school that isn’t even expensive but offers quality education. I want to build houses for free. I want to provide protection for the abused. I want to give people jobs with employers who wouldn’t take advantage of them. I want these people to enjoy life.

I want to make these happen…

Somehow, someday.

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