It’s the 1st of July, another month closer to the end of the semester. Why do I feel like I’m a living time bomb? Another month has passed, nearing my explosion and thus, my death. I used to wish or even demand for the semester to come and go quickly so I can enjoy the semestral break. Apparently, when you’re doing your thesis, the opposite happens. Time just goes so quickly! It’s as if it’s mocking me to run after it and go way past it. Can’t it just take a pause and rest for awhile? A very long while. [insert grabbing hair in frustration here] If I’m the time bomb, my thesis is the detonator and the ones holding that detonator are my thesis adviser and panel members.
God, I’m so nervous. Why is time suddenly going way too fast? It was only June last night, for crying out loud!
I need to get myself together. I have traveled a very long and difficult road to get to where I am right now. I can almost see the “light”. I guess there always comes a time when you’re close to finishing something you have worked hard for, you suddenly get cold feet. You suddenly think, “Am I really almost there?” “Is it almost over?” “Is everything really going to be okay?” “Is this for real?!”
But I can’t possibly give up now, not when I know that I am closer than I think. I guess I’ll have to just look back and remember the sleepless nights, the sacrifices, the tears I’ve shed over the years just to get to where I am right now.
First things first, I have to get way past the experiments I still have to do before I can start writing my thesis manuscript, then, thesis defense. Then…
The top of the mountain, the light at the end of a long road, the goal. One word. But more than enough to make every hardship worth it.