Officially Unemployed!

Every time I try to put into writing all these thoughts in my head, I seem to find myself at a loss of words. I kept telling myself I was too busy to spend just enough time to sit down and write whatever it was I was feeling at the moment. While I was on hiatus, one important life event happened to me (haha! Too much Facebook ugh)

I’m officially unemployed!

Yeppp. Yours truly is a proud graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in Chemistry under her belt! 😀

I could still remember that day. I had to pass my thesis manuscript with the acceptance sheet and I was going crazy about the possibility that I might not be able to submit it on time what with the deadline being that day. I already had finished my thesis defense daysss before and my manuscript as well but what made everything hard was making the important people to sign my acceptance sheet. When I finally was able to complete the required signatures, it was LITERALLY a few minutes before the deadline which was 5PM. I think I submitted it around 4:58PM or something. NO KIDDING. It made me so damn nervous. Thinking that all the hard work I did during the semester would be in vain if the manuscript was  not submitted on time.

I kept thinking about Murphy’s Law at that moment. I was damn close and what can go wrong might really go wrong then and there. Luckily, I survived the ordeal.

It felt so surreal. In fact, I didn’t feel like I’ve really graduated then and there. I don’t know. I mean, that was it? I guess I kind of expected something grand to happen. Like maybe someone throwing confetti and a banner would show up that said, “Congratulations! You’ve finally graduated!”

I was so paranoid I had asked the college secretary to double check my records so as to confirm that I have really completed the required units for my degree. We never really know, I mean, I could have missed taking one more PE subject or had an incomplete or I’ve failed a subject I thought I passed. I didn’t stop at that, I also checked my grades and subjects online AND went back to the College Secretary’s office and requested for a Certificate of Graduation (since I can’t get my diploma until I’m cleared from the university). I have developed this habit of looking at my certificate just to make sure that it’s all real. They won’t give me that certificate if it wasn’t true, right?

I was that paranoid. And I guess, it was just hard to believe. After all these years, finally! I did it. You know that feeling you get when you worked so hard for something, waited for such a long time to achieve a certain goal that when you’ve already succeeded in obtaining that goal, you just… You just can’t believe it. You’re happy, sure.

But dreaming about it, working your way through is different from finally being there.

What I’m currently waiting for now is my graduation which will be this April. I’m what you’d call a first semester graduate so I had to wait until after the 2nd semester is over for me to have that graduation march.

NEXT GOAL: PASS THE CHEMIST LICENSURE EXAM!

Ticking Time Bomb

It’s the 1^st of July, another month closer to the end of the semester. Why do I feel like I’m a living time bomb? Another month has passed, nearing my explosion and thus, my death. I used to wish or even demand for the semester to come and go quickly so I can enjoy the semestral break. Apparently, when you’re doing your thesis, the opposite happens. Time just goes so quickly! It’s as if it’s mocking me to run after it and go way past it. Can’t it just take a pause and rest for awhile? A very long while. [insert grabbing hair in frustration here] If I’m the time bomb, my thesis is the detonator and the ones holding that detonator are my thesis adviser and panel members.

God, I’m so nervous. Why is time suddenly going way too fast? It was only June last night, for crying out loud!

I need to get myself together. I have traveled a very long and difficult road to get to where I am right now. I can almost see the “light”. I guess there always comes a time when you’re close to finishing something you have worked hard for, you suddenly get cold feet. You suddenly think, “Am I really almost there?” “Is it almost over?” “Is everything really going to be okay?” “Is this for real?!”

Don’t give up now. You are closer than you think.

But I can’t possibly give up now, not when I know that I am closer than I think. I guess I’ll have to just look back and remember the sleepless nights, the sacrifices, the tears I’ve shed over the years just to get to where I am right now.

First things first, I have to get way past the experiments I still have to do before I can start writing my thesis manuscript, then, thesis defense. Then…

GRADUATION.

The top of the mountain, the light at the end of a long road, the goal. One word. But more than enough to make every hardship worth it.

Always remember, it will be worth it.

DP Weekly Writing Challenge, “Starting Over”: Winged Memories

“WINGED MEMORIES”

I thought it was just like any other day. If I only knew way back then how wrong I was. I was on my way home when a butterfly caught my eye. Butterflies have always fascinated me with their beauty. This particular one is currently flying from one colourful flower to another. I was an inch away from its wings when, as if on cue, rain started to fall. I was on the verge of giving up any hope of staying dry when realization dawned upon me. Above me was an umbrella, held by a boy with startling brown eyes. Now, I was no longer just fascinated with the butterflies.  My memories are now filled with fascination and love for him.

Ten long years have already passed since that fateful day. We became friends and so much more. Who would have thought that that ugly looking umbrella would start it all? Now here I am, looking so beautiful in my white gown. The ceremony was about to start and as I was busy looking over the crowd of expectant faces, a pair of colourful wings caught my eye. It was, I realized, a butterfly.

Suddenly, everything became a blur and I felt like I was that girl again from ten years ago. Staring into those brown eyes, I remembered so much more. He was staring at someone from my behind. I turned around and saw my best friend. Her beauty radiated as she gracefully walked by. Ten long years had really passed and so many things had happened—things that were way beyond my control. Today is my best friend and his’ wedding ceremony.

As the wings of the butterfly slowly faded from my sight, I had come to accept that my memories of him would have to fade. I looked back at the happy couple in front of me as they, in turn, looked lovingly into each other’s eyes and I thought, “It’s time for me to start over too.”

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This is my first time participating in The Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge. 🙂 After reading this week’s theme, writing a short piece of creative writing on Starting Over, this piece instantly came into mind. This was originally written for my English class when I was still in my freshman year. We were asked to write a very short story containing the words: butterfly, beauty, umbrella, girl, and ceremony. 🙂